Thursday, July 27, 2006

Porter's Failing Grade

Apparently, Jerry Porter didn't get Art Shell’s old-school memo, because he rolled into Napa on Tuesday wearing a massive gold belt bejeweled with dollar signs. A fur coat and mutton chops would have been much cooler, in my opinion.

In addition to his fancy belt, Porter also brought his bad attitude to training camp, as reported in the San Francisco Chronicle and elsewhere. Here is what Coach Shell had to say about that: “The culture is changing, and everybody has been on board and trying to get involved in the process of winning football games, and getting in here, working. You can't have inmates running the asylum. That's not gonna be. Not under me, and 99.9 percent of the players here feel that way. They want direction. We're going to give them direction. And I'm not going to back down off of that. A couple of the inmates have been trying to run the doggone culture around here. They've been running the program. And that's not gonna be anymore. I'm the head coach. I'm the guy in charge."

Any questions? Didn’t think so.

The headline to the story in the San Francisco Chronicle was: “Jerry Porter is already testing Art Shell.” Really? Okay, we’ve graded the test, and here are the results:

Shell: A+
Porter: F

Jerry’s new middle name is WTFDYTYA, which stands for the question Art Shell asked him a few months ago: Who the f**** do you think you are? Congratulations, Jerry “WTFDYTYA” Porter, you’ve just alienated your coach, your team and the Raider Nation.


Ultimately, Jerry “WTFDYTYA” Porter picked the wrong fight, at the wrong time, with the wrong man. He miscalculated, thinking that the team’s financial investment in him—including a $13 million signing bonus last year—gave him attitudinal carte blanche. Instead, he just might find himself picking splinters out of his ass in September.


That would be fine with me. Like I said two months ago: it's Doug Gabriel time.

P.S. Let’s review the math of Jerry “WTFDYTYA” Porter. In 2005, Al Davis rewarded him with a $13 million signing bonus. At the time, he had recorded 163 receptions in his career. That translates to a bonus of $79,754 per catch, a figure that doesn’t even include his base salary. And how does he reward Al Davis? By spitting in the eye of the coach and Raiders legend that Mr. Davis has enlisted to turn the team around, so that Mr. Davis might have a shot at restoring the winning tradition of his beloved franchise. Jerry “WTFDYTYA” Porter is officially a lost cause, but his implosion has also served a great purpose in demonstrating that no one is above the law of Art Shell, and that a righteous smackdown awaits anyone who would dare to spit in the eye of greatness.

10 Comments:

Anonymous Tokai Japan Outpost of the Raider Nation said...

Trade Porter for Calvin Branch? I don't know how the cap deal would work out, but Pouter is getting ridiculous. He wanted to make himself look good, but he came out looking like a spoiled brat. And Coach Shell came out looking like ... a head coach doing his job. Somehow I doubt Mr Rogers ever asked Pouter who the f--- he thought he was. Maybe he should have.

2:20 AM  
Blogger The Analyzer said...

Pouter? I like that. I think he earned himself a new nickname!!

It sucks having him on our team but we'd be better off if we could hold onto him for one more season. If he is productive, his trade value will sky rocket. When we trade him, he better look for a team that has a laid back head coach....

5:56 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Porter has proven from the start of his Raider career that he is high maintenance... like a little kid. Did he forget that he's getting paid $20 mil over 5 years to play football? This guy needs a dose of reality. Art should have him fill water bottles for Doug Gabriel and Ronald Curry.

8:35 AM  
Blogger Roy said...

While Pouter (I like it too) is acting like a lil punk, he did come in tremendous shape. I would like to see us play him to raise his trade value so we can get something for him, if we are not going to do that then cut his ass before he become a real cancer.

8:47 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

The best thing about this is Pouter aka WTFDYTYA won't be a cancer to this team. Nobody else has come out and said anything bad about the direction of this team except him. Ultimately, that means nobody else cares! Why trade him? You cant get anything for his value so SIT HIM. We did Marcus Allen. We truly were better for it because he had a bad attitude. Pouter will never be anything of a comparison to Allen. Its an old Sheriff in town....and his name is Art Shell!

10:31 AM  
Anonymous scorpio2562 said...

lets see..... we sit/deactivate him to teach him a lesson OR play him and let him have a fantastic year to boost his trade value.

attitude is everything folks. if this cat can't see that well, he should sit and be made an example of NO MATTER WHAT THE COST! if the rumors of the raiders wanting 2 1st round picks for him are true and they find a team DUMB enough to do that hell yeah they'll swallow that accelerated cap hit!

maybe we should trade (next year that is) his butt to the whiners so he'll be reunited with norv turnip.

this guy is so very over-rated. he is the eric chavez of the raiders where year after year there's talk about him finally breaking out and achieving superstar status but it never happens. if he shuts his trap and pretends to be motivated enough to have at least a decent pre-season and regular season, then hopefully we can find someone else to dump him on next year.

11:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

After his WTFDYTYA line, it would be nice to think that a remained seated Coach Shell would have then said quietly and calmly, "Fred, get the door. You want to leave Jerry? Nows u can't leave!" And then proceeded to beat this punk repeatedly and thoroughly.

Jerry Porter represents the "something for nothing" culture that seems to infect so many people today. It would be nice to see Porter black and blue rather than in silver and black.

12:30 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think we are all frusterated because we thought Jerry Porter would be the next great Raider's receiver, taking the torch from Tim Brown.

The truth of the matter is Porter is not, and never will be, a great receiver.

He's averaged less than 3 catches a game for his career.

He's never had a 1,000 yard season.

He's never had double digit TD's in a season.

All of this in an era where the Raider's have passed the ball like it's going out of style.

He's played in 16 games in only 3 out of his 6 seasons. He's glass.

Forget Porter. You may look like T.O., but you play WR like Lucas (bad 80's movie).

There is no drop off in talent / ability with Gabriel and Curry.

1:46 PM  
Anonymous raider00 said...

Thank God for Art Shell. He put Porter in his place, and hopefully, his place will be off the team.

Anybody else want to be a cancer this season ?? Good luck, and good ridence to all the crybaby losers, who talk a great game off the field, but disappear on game day.

Thank God for Art Shell.

2:07 PM  
Anonymous Raider Lifer said...

F-ck Porter.

5:42 AM  

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