Friday, July 20, 2007

Dear Sports Illustrated

Dear Sports Illustrated:

I remain shocked—shocked!—that you have not once included Raider Take in your Featured Fan Page nor under your More Local Raiders News section, which includes several blogs.

Could it have something to do with this, this, this, this, this, this, this or this, to name a few?

Honestly, I think I’m ready to bury the hatchet…right between your eyes. Ha, ha, ha! Just kidding. Seriously, can’t we all get along?

Last year about this time, you held a poll to determine the NFL team fan sites that ultimately made your list, but Raider Take wasn’t even invited to the dance.

Indeed, Raider Take was left pouting on the pine, attired in street clothes, just like Jerry Porter.

It pains me to grovel for your attention. But considering all the publicity I’ve given you over the past three years (remember, bad publicity is better than no publicity!), isn’t it time you threw me a bone, or at least a dog biscuit? What do I need to do—agree that Eddie DeBartolo might acquire the Raiders and that the team made a huge mistake in releasing Kerry Collins (to paraphrase a few of your classic stories)?

I urge you to look beyond my sins and consider the regulars here at Raider Take, the articulate souls who have registered more than ten thousand comments in these pages over the past three years, and who continue to delight us with their witty and insightful analysis. They deserve to be heard by all (and especially by your Raider-hating NFL writers…oops, there I go again).

Anyhow, I guess I'll keep waiting anxiously by the phone at the Heartbreak Hotel. I'm sure you've got my number (or is it vice versa?).

Hugs,
Raider Take

33 Comments:

Anonymous Raider Nate 75 said...

don't do it rt! don't sell out to the diarrhea of magazines! sports illusionated isn't the magazine it once was, it's crap, and i wipe my @$$ with it after doing so; flushing it where it belongs.
to be recognized by sports illusionated, is to sell your soul to the devil, and become a "yes man" and a bandwagon writer with bandwagon takes.
because you are a true raider guy, who is passionate about the raiders, is why they don't recognize you; and why i come to this page frequently. keep up the passion, slamming those who deserve it; and by god, don't EVER apologize for it.

5:47 AM  
Anonymous H said...

Take,

By the way, SI stated Huff was a bad fit for the Raiders. If memory serves me correctly (at my advanced age I have to put out a disclaimer) wasn't he a starter for the top ranked pass defense? Or is my dementia creeping in.

Good satire must include an element of truth. This is good satire and demonstrates absurdity by being absurd.

Take, my advice is to ignore them and continue to take no prisoners.

H

6:05 AM  
Blogger Raider Take said...

Hey, Raider Nate, don't worry, providing direct links to eight takes mocking their writers probably wasn't the best way to sell out.

H, I do remember that Huff piece, and in fact, one of my "this" links in this take sends you to further comment on that article. The author of that little gem is also the same guy who said we'd better re-sign Kerry Collins because he was a hot commodity!

6:39 AM  
Anonymous memdf said...

Classic!
I hope you really sent this to those bozos.

6:57 AM  
Blogger BlandaRocked said...

RT:

The SI moto ought to be, "Let's go to the stat sheet!" The stat sheet is the beginning and the end of SI analysis. You know, the kind of analysis we always used to do when we were about 10 or 11.

SI has been "dumging down" for years to accomodate their writers.

8:15 AM  
Anonymous Raider Nate 75 said...

don't forget one of their writers also wrote his recollective memory of the assassin's hit on stingley, calling it a dirty play on a defenseless receiver; and how he hit him after he had landed and took a few steps.

9:06 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Bama7
RT- they're not worth it. We've all had to put up with so much shit for so long now. But fellas there is only one way out of this crap and it's not jarring back and forth it's winning.
I, like everyone else on this board, has studied our team up one side and down the other, but when you get right down to it our trouble really boils down to two basic things in football:
1. We haven't been able to run the football at all
2. We haven't been able to stop our opponents running game

10:51 AM  
Blogger PantyRaider said...

"AutumnWind"-w-2nd Verse:

The Autumn Wind is a pirate
Blustering in from sea
With a rollicking song he sweeps along
swaggering boisterously
His face is weather beaten
He wears a hooded sash
With his silver hat about his head
And a bristly black moustache
He growls as he storms the country
A villain big and bold
And the trees all shake and quiver and quake
As he robs them of their gold
The Autumn wind is a Raider
Pillaging just for fun
He'll knock you 'round and upside down
And laugh when he's conquered and won.

Warriors cut from a different cloth
Renagades with faces only a mother could love
The banner they fly, the skull and crossbones, is a clue to their personality
Show no mercy, Take no prisoniers
This is the team that revels in it's ominous image
For over 40 years, the specter of the Silver and Black has forged a reputation as gatekeepers of an evil empire
A realm where might makes right.

It's official....we are in the books....The "RaiderNation" is recorded as the "EvilEmpire" and the "AutumnWind" as our fight song...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Autumn_Wind

It should be noted that the so called "NinerEmpire" is NO-Where to be found...it's just "HotAir" and a "CopyCat" illusion...

Also...the "RaiderHater"s are non-existant....just another illusion....working as sports "Mediot"s....

PantyRaider...GivemHell-"RT"!!!!

11:29 AM  
Blogger PantyRaider said...

"WR"CliffBranch:

Branch will demonstrate that loyalty on Sunday when he'll attend the Carson City Raiders Booster Club's annual picnic and membership drive at Washoe Lake State Park. The event will take place from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m.

Makes me want to drive to "AZ" for the weekend....

http://www.nevadaappeal.com/article/20070719/SPORTS/107190087

The artical has good history about Branch....It's nice to see a writter who can give credit to the "RaiderNation"....this guy should make "RT"s "QualityList"...

PantyRaider...ReadenHappy!!!!!

11:40 AM  
Blogger PantyRaider said...

RaiderLinbackers:

The bottom line: The Raiders are fast and active, but not big enough or strong enough. It can work well provided they force enough turnovers.

http://www.ibabuzz.com/raidersblog/2007/07/19/position-group-analysis-linebacker/

They have the analisys thing going but it seems to be fair....

PantyRaider....Good"Mediot"s???????

11:50 AM  
Blogger BlandaRocked said...

PantyRaider:

Good point about the linebackers. When Ryan first got here, he started with "BIG," converting linemen into LBs. Then, to compensate, he went with "fast." But now they are too small to stop the run. Hopefully, soon, Goldilocks will move on to Baby Bear's LBs, which will be "just right."

12:21 PM  
Blogger RaiderRealist said...

"Tis better to be alone than to be in bad company." This succinctly describes what it would be like to be linked to Sports Illustrated.

Does anyone know where I can find the debate between Trask and Pereira? That's the kind of stuff that needs to be documented BEFORE the refs pull another San Diego from last season or worse yet another Snow Job.

1:00 PM  
Blogger Raider Take said...

Go to Google, enter the following search term: "Pereira Trask."

After hitting the search button, click the "News" link at the upper left. This will take you to several news stories about the incident.

Remember the home opener in 2005 against KC, when Moss got called for phantom pass interference on a touchdown, or later against KC, when our lineman got pushed into their running back and he was called for tripping. Both were game changers. The list goes on...and on...and on.

1:16 PM  
Blogger RaiderRealist said...

Thanks RT. I wish we could start an online petition to Roger Goodell about the questions this raises about officiating integrity. You know how the league reacts when the integrity of the game is questioned.

3:15 PM  
Blogger RaiderRealist said...

Well imagine that, an NBA ref is under investigation for betting on games, including ones he officiated. Hmmm, and we have the head of NFL refs looking at the standings when deciding which way a call should go???

5:19 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've said it before, you need to take over the Raider blog over at the sportsblog network. Saint's a cool guy, but he's not up to the job.

9:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey cry baby... The Raiders aren't news worthy! Since when does any media feature, cover, report on the leagues worst team. Thats reight dill weed, the worst team in the whole NFL. It serve the team better not to cover them. Its like this... give the raiders a reason to perform. Ad Davis.. past over, a once was. How many coaches has he had over the past 10-15 years? Losing starts at the top and ends at the top. Davis is a joke and should step aside.

Stop crying and get real! the team sucks. It will be improved, because Shell is gone and the chiefs are not as good. Jamarcus - cmon. Why draft a QB in the first round. Marinovich, Leaf, Russell. Heck they could have gotten Culpepper, Green, or some other without wasting a 1st overall pick.

8:44 AM  
Blogger Raider Take said...

Dill weed? I now know for sure that you're either a Niners or Patriots fan, now that you've used that term.

What do you mean the Raiders aren't newsworthy? They were the most covered 2-14 team in the history of the NFL. ESPN even sent a staffer out to Oakland last year to write a feature on the gameday experience. Funny, they didn't do that for the Lions or Buccaneers or any other losing team. That's just one of countless examples.

And by the way, why aren't you dropping your juvenile takes on Buffalo Bills or Arizona Cardinals fan sites? Because you, like the media, are obsessed with the Raiders. You can't ignore us, not even after 2-14. That's your problem, not mine.

9:34 AM  
Blogger Calico Jack said...

Keep callin' em like you see em RT!
Some of my favorite posts are the ones where you put a spotlight on shoddy journalism.

"Frampton signs, Coop juices" ...

IMO, Coop was an overrated ST performer. The Raiders ranked near the bottom of the heap in ST coverage the past 2 seasons. Coop was a fan favorite but it will be no great loss considering the ample depth at Safety.

1:27 PM  
Blogger PantyRaider said...

RT....OpertunityNocks:

I am sugesting that you start a new "BlogersRaidersBoosterClub" under the direction of the RaidersOrganizartion....with your site (RT) as the meeting place...

There is now an "InternetRaidersBoostersClub" but that is not a "Blog" site....so yours would be in an unrepresented area....Here is the contact for the current internet site:
prez@orib.org

Here is contact information to set up a new club:
For information on forming a club of your own in an area that isn't currently covered by a club, send a written request to Morris Bradshaw, Oakland Raiders, 1220 Harbor Bay Pkwy., Alameda, CA 94502. Boldface denotes Steering Committee club

You will find this info at Raiders.com....FanZone....BoosterClubs....

I was a club member in the past and it is great....you have opertunities to get together with the players and coaches...to take part in Raider events....to send representatives each season to the "FamilyDay" at "TrainingCamp" as "EventStaff" working security on the field with the team....Great opertunity....to get tickets in oposition stadiums....to attend the "DraftDay" celibrations with the other clubs put on by AlDavis...and the list goes on and on....Hanging out with the "CheerLeaders" is cool too....

You will need officers for the club but I will nominate the other members of "BlackFlagNetwork" and the other "BlogSite" holders like BlandaRocked....

PleasePlease "RT"....Look into it....You will have an international member come October(me)...Get advertisment at Raiders.com for your site....get immeadiat responce from all the other club members who want to blog with us....you will grow very quickly and can say "F^!@K-OFF" to the "Mediot"s who don't want to reconise you....You will become a "BlogerPowerHouse" and imposible to ignore.....

PantyRaider....PumpinYaUp!!!!

1:34 PM  
Blogger PantyRaider said...

This is an e-mail reply I got from the "InternetRaidersBoosterClub"

I will be out of the office until Thursday July 26th. For any production support issues, please contact the Help Desk @ (972) 604-5980.

Thanks

Leroy P. Zine

PantyRaider....PleasePleasePlease!!!

1:37 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Wahn Whan Whan... Get a life you cry baby. I suppose it is because of SI that the Raiders wre the losingest team last year. Grow up. SI doesn't cover the team because nobody is interested in a perenial last place team. You also angry about the lack of Lions or browns info? Stop your whining. Is ther any NFL team looking up at the Raiders wondering how to better themselves against them - NO! So why shhould SI? I am a Raider Fan, an honest Raider fan. They're close with the Lions for the losingest team over the past 5 years. What's interesting? A coach that has never coached? A Rookie QB? THeir Defense is good, but overrated. Heck, my grandma could rush for more than 150 yds on those chumps.

9:18 PM  
Anonymous H said...

Do you notice how anonymous doesn't state whow he is (even with a handle) or what team he pulls for.

I figure he's either a 49er (rhymes with whiner) fan or a Charger fan. Remember how they whined about the Patriots actually celebrating a win.

H

4:49 AM  
Anonymous H said...

Anonymous,

Missed the line that stated you were and "Honest" Raider Fan. Part of being a "FAN" is optimism. With each new season, hope springs eternal. And each new game is a chance to win no matter how the season is going.

Were I to have the attitude you allude to in your post as being "Honest" there would be no reason to attend a game or even turn the TV on on Sunday.

At the end of the day I prefer optimism over this type of negativity.

H

6:23 AM  
Blogger Raider Take said...

Yeah, Anon here is so "honest" that he couldn't handle dealing with my earlier reply straight on. So honest that he says SI doesn't cover the Raiders despite all of the direct links in my piece showing SI covering the Raiders. So honest that he calls this year's team "chumps." Yeah, a real "honest" to goodness Raiders fan.

Hey PantyRaider, thanks for the good idea, I'll loook into it.

6:32 AM  
Anonymous Raider Greg said...

OOOOH Yeaaaaaa! Another pretender! Anon....You pretend to be Raider Nation.. show that crap at the Black Hole...I would love it! I invite you to our tailgate for the home opener.....I enjoy a good BEAT DOWN to start the season.....But it's a crime to beat a 13 year old. One things for sure, You are out Gunned here..Now...GO GET YOUR SHINE BOX!

5:33 PM  
Blogger PantyRaider said...

"RT"....Go for it!!!!

AnnoAss is a phony "CopyCat" tryin to discuise itself with da BadSpelling so we don't KaKnow who it be....but alassssss...try as it may....it will slip-up and use the same wording as in past posts..."ForensicInvestigation" is compleate......

PantyRaider....MicroScope!!!!

8:00 PM  
Anonymous scorpio said...

russell not signed yet? if not this week, may be a while folks. besides, he's not gonna start the season anyway. he's gotta ride the pine while he learns the ropes. that's why we have booty errrr, mccown.

10:40 PM  
Blogger nyraider said...

Many moons ago I had more respect for SI. Now, about the only SI in my world is through RT. So they need to give a little respect to earn it.

IMO Cooper should be released. The "juice" is not cool, and without it he'll be less of a factor on ST than he was, which was marginal. (Qu: does anyone have an opinion on how wide-spread steroid use is in the NFL? Is it an epidemic or just spotty use by underachieving wannabees?)

PS don't waste your time with the anon Raider-Hater who pretends to be a fan in order to gain credibility for his bogus opinion. Besides, he's far less entertaining than faida.

6:24 AM  
Blogger Raider Take said...

Yeah, at least Faida Boy was a certified maniac and a deeply troubled soul with coping issues and a mommy complex. This new Anon is merely tiresome.

7:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I've always hated SI. Even before I knew they were a bunch of biased, Raider hating, idiotic pricks. I remember my grandma getting me a year's subscription to their crappy little magazine when I was little and I couldn't understand why it was so popular, and I still can't.

Psycho

7:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey RT let's have a countdown on the start up of practice!

We are 3 days and how many hours away from the fisrt practice?

raiderdecoachella

7:34 AM  
Anonymous Raider Nate 75 said...

anonym-ASS
i'm a "true and honest" raider fan as well; and i say this year's team is different than last 5 years' team.
let's start with the coaching. gone are the bed-n-breakfast cereals, ham, pancakes, and tecmo super bowl offense. gone are the 85 offensive line coaches telling our line 85 different things. gone is a head coach who doesn't know when or how to throw a red flag, or be rational when handling problems; or working through problems.
gone to san diego, is the great coordinator, but crappy head coach; who doesn't have disciplinary skills to get his players to work hard. gone to san diego is the coach who hasn't had a season above 500 in his career as head coach. gone to san diego is the coach who decided to run a 3-4 defense, when our roster was built to run a 4-3 defense, because that coach didn't understand defense to begin with.
gone to nebraska is the coach that went so looney-bin, that he couldn't control his own madness when running the offesne. gone to nebraska is the coach that didn't know how to make offensive adjustments during a game; especially when facing a former coach and friend. gone to nebraska is the coach that also didn't understand the concepts of defense.
into the picture comes a coach who knows how to motivate players. into the picture comes a coach, despite a "lack of nfl coaching experience," has surrounded himself with coordinators and coaches that have extreme knowledge and credibility in the nfl. into the picture comes a coach who has been mentored by nfl and college coaches his whole life, and understands how to coach in the nfl (monte kiffin, the bucs' d-coordinator is his father, did you know that?). into the picture comes a guy who has had tremendous success running an offense, and has had nfl experience in helping coach defensive players (jacksonville). into the picture comes a guy who has the knowledge to make this team turn around in a year; and create a team that went from giving up; to competitive.
so take your hateration out of here, because you're no raider fan.

7:47 AM  

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