Raider Take's Believe It or Not
Let’s not pretend there’s a ton of news out there right now regarding our Raiders. Our roster is nearly set, but we can’t really test drive it until training camp. The reasons for optimism are plentiful yet unproven at this point. At the prompting of Pscyho, who spoke for many of us when he declared (in the Raider Take comments section) his anxious boredom with the lack of real news right now, I am inspired to roam beyond the Xs and Os in search of more curious storylines…
The Numbers Game
As you may have already heard, Jerry Porter put the brakes on his intended jersey switch from #84 to #81. Apparently, it was going to cost him $210,000 to reimburse the team and the league for pre-existing merchandise.
Porter said he’d rather spend the money on sports cars, which is certainly logical, yet nonetheless annoying coming from Mr. Doghouse.
Anyhow, this is what I found most strange about the story: “NFL spokesman Steve Alic said Porter could wait until next year, when the supply of unsold shirts would be depleted and the cost would be less, before making the change.”
Next year? How on earth are they going to deplete $210,000 worth of Jerry Porter jerseys within a year? How would you like to be a Jerry Porter Jersey Salesman right about now? That's a pretty rough gig.
Here’s my layaway plan for helping deplete the overstock of Jerry Porter jerseys: (1) Porter never wears the oversized dollar-sign belt again while ripping off the fans with disruptive behavior that undermines the team; (2) he lets his hands, not his piehole, do his talking for the entire 2007 season; (3) he then makes it through the next offseason and 2008 training camp without a diva event; (4) then maybe—just maybe—I consider buying Mini Take a little Jerry Porter jersey. Until then, it’s guys I know I can rely on, like Sapp and Asomugha.
Speaking of which, get your Randy Moss replica jersey—only $15 right now at the Raider Image. You can also get an authentic Moss jersey for $50. That’s not a bad deal if you can rip his name off and replace it with “Cole,” for Marquice Cole, an undrafted free agent cornerback who has inherited the number, and who actually appreciates the opportunity to play for the Raiders.
I declare myself the first member of the Marquice Cole fan club.
Fans for Life
One week after a Raiders fan was executed by the state of
Phillip Piña of
You think? Crikey, this dude can now afford his own private jet. He could rent out the entire Oakland Airport Hilton. He could even loan Jerry Porter enough money to get his coveted #81.
Phillip is a 57-year-old mechanic by trade. Couldn’t have happened to a cooler guy, as far as I can tell. Phillip, if you’re out there, please contact me. I want to buy you a beer.
On a more morbid note (thanks to Doobie for the initial tip), Robert Comer’s last words upon lethal injection last week were: “Go Raiders!”
Of course, the Raiders Haters had a lot of fun with that one, wielding it as yet another brick in the wall of Raider Nation stereotyping. Now, let’s get this out of the way right now: By all accounts, Mr. Comer committed some heinous crimes. No excuses.
Yet here we have a guy on the brink of death, and another living life to the fullest with a multimillion dollar windfall, and what are they both thinking about? The same thing as us: The Oakland Raiders.
Need I remind you that all of this comes after a 2-14 season and four straight losing seasons? If the Patriots or Chargers go 8-8, half of their “fans” disappear overnight. Steelers gear performed the ultimate vanishing act last year. Yet our fans are standing by their team no matter what the circumstances, from losing seasons to gas chambers, lottery windfalls to alien invasions, and everything in between.
To those who would paint us all as mere criminals: You can’t handle the truth. And the truth is passion, commitment and dedication. Those aren’t the hallmarks of criminals. They are the hallmarks of character.Haiku: The Wait
Napa, so close yet
so far; is it September
yet? Tick, tock, tick, tock...